Knowing Your Name

I'm reading through the Psalms for my quiet times, and so far so good.  I read Psalm 9 yesterday, and I was compelled to memorize a verse:

"Those who know Your name trust You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You."  --Psalm 9:10, NIV

There is a wonderful older couple in my life named Billy Ray and Mittie Kay Smith--Yes, they are as cute as they sound.  When I was in third semester of nursing school, Hannah and I had to find a couple over the age of 65, go to their home, assess their health, and teach them about an area health or safety where they were not meeting the mark.  Of course, we got the healthiest couple on the planet:  They ate healthy; their home was safe; they knew more about their medicines than we did; Mr. Billy even has a pocketbook where he writes down his blood pressure every time they take it at the doctor. 

Mrs. Mittie is the talker of the two.  She is the epitome of the Old South.  She is so pleasant and kind and wants the best for everyone.  Mr. Billy just sits and listens to us talk and interjects when he needs to.  Mr. Billy was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma a few years ago, and he did radiation for it.  Mrs. Mittie always says, "They say his cancer is the best kind to have because it is curable and treatable."  So, his cancer went into remission after some radiation.  We started our assessments on them maybe 6 months to a year after those treatments were over.  They came to our graduation in May, and simply having their presence there was such a joy.

At the beginning of the summer, Mr. Billy found out his cancer was no longer in remission, and that chemo had to begin.  Mind you, Mr. Billy is a strong man.  He does yard work and gets out and exercises.  He was to get one chemo treatment every other Thursday times 6 treatments I think.  Slowly, I saw a strong man whom I love so much lose his hair, lose his energy, and lose that positivity that he always had.  Hannah called Mrs. Mittie this past weekend, and we found out a surprising message:  Mr. Billy was in the critical care unit in the hospital.  He had gotten pneumonia and gone into heart failure.  When I went to visit them on Tuesday, they had gotten into a regular room.  I walked in and found a dangerously weak and confused man.  He was constantly trying to pull his oxygen off or pull his heart monitor off.  He had no rest.  His chest rose and fell so quickly, and you could tell he was fighting for every breath he got.  The doctors' messages are conflicting.  None of them communicate with each other; therefore, they confuse Mrs. Mittie when they talk to her.  Hannah and I are both nurses now, and thankfully one of us has been in there the last few times doctors have come in to talk with them so we can relay messages to each other about what they said.  Mrs. Mittie has cried on both of us.  I know she's scared he's not going to make it, and I'm scared of that too. 

"Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You."

Trust is a word with so many implications and so much submission and surrender.  It's hard for me to trust that the Lord is doing what's best for the Smiths.  However, I know His name.  It's amazing what His name can do.  Demons shriek merely at the sound of His name.  People are healed in His name.  We pray and put our requests at the feet of the Father through Jesus' name.  Anyone who calls upon His name can be saved, Scripture says.  If I can trust Him to save me through it, can't I also trust Him with my life and the circumstances of life because His name is stamped on my heart?  Everyday, I'm trusting Him to give me my next breath.  Every moment, I'm trusting Him to make my heart beat.  Why is it that it's so difficult to trust Him with those special people in my life when He's the one--in every sense of the word--sustaining me and them?  "...for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You."  I'm going to trust that the Lord knows what He's doing because He's never failed me.  Lord, thank You for being constant.  My life has had people constantly moving in and out of it, circumstances constantly changing, but You've been there for all of it.  Lord, may I learn to trust You even when it's difficult to do that.  Thank You that You are greater than me and that Your ways and thoughts are higher than mine.  Thank You that You call me beloved.  Thank You for being a Savior, in so very many different ways. 

Little Things

Have you ever noticed that it's the small things in life that give us the most grief?  How many times have you found yourself livid because you can't find your keys or you're running late or your computer or phone decides to quit working?  Welcome to my life in the past week.  Last night, I was getting ready to go to bed, and I thought, "Marlie, this is stupid that you've been so angry about this all week.  You found your keys; you got to work.  Once upon a time, people didn't have phones, and they did quite well."  It's amazing how our society is so driven around these things.  My brain can't even wrap around not having access to other people in a matter of seconds.  I can't imagine having to write letters about news, and having one conversations with someone could take well over a month.  I can't fathom it.  You know what the funny part of all of this is?  I have access to the Lord every second of my life, but oh how very little I take advantage of this access.  This week when I was absolutely stressing out over it all, how often do you think I even cared to share my concerns with Him?  How often did I share my heart with Him?  It's incredible.  This is God we're talking about.  Not some other person.  He's the One who created the seas, the sky, the earth, us.  He is high above everything we are, yet this same Lord cares to speak with us.  He cares about our day-to-day concerns.  He cares about our happiness, our joy, our sadness, our anger.  He knows us in the deepest way, and in turn He wants us to know Him deeply.  "Pray without ceasing" is what He led Paul to write.  Paul also wrote this:

 ¹⁴ Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,  Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. ¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. ¹⁶ Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.  --Hebrews 4:14-16, NIV


"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence.."  O Lord, thank You that You give us this gift of speaking with you and that You have made a way for our relationship to be intimate.