Perspective

It is so good to have moments when everything comes into perspective.  I've been reminded a lot lately that the sole reason I'm alive is to bring God pleasure, to bring Him glory.  Not only did He die to be my Savior, but He also died to be my Lord, my Boss.  That's the hard part of the whole thing.  Jesus can't just be our Savior; He is both Lord AND Savior.  It is impossible to split who He is; it's like picking and choosing the parts of Him we like if we just take Him as a Savior.  That aspect of me is having a hard time dying to Him.  The other day I was listening to "You Can Have Me" by Sidewalk Prophets and it says, "If I saw You on the street and You said, 'Come and follow Me,' but I had to give up everything--all I once held and all of my dream--would I love You enough to let go or would my love run dry when You asked for my life?  When did love become unmoving?  When did love become unconsuming?  Forgetting what the world has told me, Father of love, You can have me."  Then I went and read Luke 14, and I knew I was setting myself up for a conviction I probably didn't want:

²⁵ Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: ²⁶ “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. ²⁷ And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.   ²⁸ “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? ²⁹ For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, ³⁰ saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’
   ³¹ “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? ³² If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. ³³ In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.
   ³⁴ “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? ³⁵ It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.
   “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

Basically, "Sorry, Marlie.  All of you has to go away so that all I want you to be can be."  I have a tendency to be really prideful:  to think I know a lot more than I do, to think I live my life so called "better" than others do, a center of attention, holier-than-thou attitude, and to anyone who has been subject to my attitude like this, I'm sorry.  The Lord has much to break, and brokenness is something I'm terrified to ask for because I know with brokenness often comes much pain.  However, to truly know Him and to let Him be the Lord and Teacher that I want Him to be in my life, the brokenness comes with the territory.  

Another song that I heard on the radio recently says, "Blessed are those who understand we have nothing to give but empty hands."  God, I have nothing good to offer You, but I pray You can do something with the life and the empty hands I give You.  May You be my Lord and in turn, let me be Your disciple.  As a good friend once explained to me, let me follow You so closely that I'm covered by the dust from Your feet.  

Teach me Your way, O LORD, and I will walk in Your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name. --Psalm 86:11